jibberjabber

it’s like 3 am and im sitting here, not sleeping.. obviously. for some reason, it just feels really strange when i dont talk to you before i go to bed. maybe because i’m so used to it, but maybe this is a good thing becos i do need to back down just a little. “A part of me wants to leave, but a part of me wants to be here with you; and everytime I think that we’re over and done, you do something that get me back loving you. You got me torn in between the two - because I really wanna be with you, but something is telling me that I should leave you alone.” i’ve been coughing nonstop for a couple days now and im beginning to feel a stuffy nose coming ): that’s the worse part about being sick! lately, life’s been feeling like its going super fast. i mean, it was juuust O8’ and now were like already in the third month of O9. im getting kinda scared. im thinking about everything thats going to happen after highschool, whenever i do graduate. my grades have been so horrible, i dont know what’s going on with me. im getting distracted by so many little things that are totally preventable. promise, im gonna try better. my weight’s been bothering me a lot. i dont know if it’s just me, but it looks like ive gained SO much weight. everyone is telling me i look fine, but i just cant seem to see that.. so i put myself on a little SpecialK diet. i’ve been cheating on it lately though, so come april IM ALL FOR IT! honestly (: i wanna look good in this summer’s swimsuit. OHMAN! i dont know why but for some reason, im super excited for SUMMERO9! i cant wait to get out of school and just make the beach my home. i haven’t been there in so long, and boy do i miss it. enough fantasizing, ima go hit tha sheets .. afterall, this is the only time im gonna be able to have GOODLSEEP before i have to go back to school again, and go thru another week of torture. goodniiights!